Idealism
Okay, if by this point you don't know that I frequent a couple message boards, you might as well find out now. One is a Weezer-related message board. It started with Weezer.com's message boards, just discussing my favorite band. As generally happens to a lot of people who post on that board, I migrated to another section on the same board called "All Things Not Weezer," which is basically just a general chat message board.
Sometime earlier this year, Weezer.com underwent a large overhaul, thus completely changing the format of the message boards along with the rest of the site. Most of the ATNW regulars didn't like it, and migrated to an alternate message board at Weezernation.com. Besides that board, some people I'd grown familiar with joined another alternate board that was more personal and with much less traffic. So now I post on the new boards at Weezernation.com as well as the other board, which is called FBIHOP (you'll never guess what it stands for; it's an inside joke).
The boards are sort of like a weird mix between a blog, a chat room, and a debate club. There are boardies from a number of different countries--mostly American, but there a good amount of Canadian, Mexican, European, South American, and Australian boardies as well. Due to the personal nature of some of the topics, people get to know each other. Sometimes they even meet up. On rare occasions boardies have even become romantic interests. It's like an online subculture. Almost all the regulars are known by real names rather than online aliases.
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that often times I find some of the things I write on the boards are interesting enough to be brought over to this blog. I haven't done it yet, but I've thought of it a lot. Most times I'll end up making a topic about it rather than writing about it here, since on the boards I'm more likely to get more feedback in a timely manner. There's also a lot less pressure because I'm very unlikely to ever run into the people I'm talking to. I don't have to worry about offending anyone or being rejected or any of that personal crap. It's somewhat liberating.
This time, I decided I'd bring over something I posted on the message boards. There was a topic about the ten things you look for in a romantic interest. The reason I brought this over is that I came up with ten really good things in a short period of time, and I figured it's good food for thought for my readers (if I actually have any--I honestly have no idea if anyone at all reads this thing).
So here are the official ten most valued qualities (in no particular order) I have in a member of the opposite sex, with added commentary for each one:
First of all, I wouldn't call these "requirements" per se. I tend to be a realist when it comes to dating, so I find that there's a low likelihood that I'll find a woman that loves me and still holds all these qualities.
1. Almost as smart/as smart/smarter than me.
There may be nothing more attractive than a pretty girl who knows her shit. Some people are intimidated by brains--I might be too, but in a good way. It presents a challenge, a challenge I'd accept with open arms.
2. Massages my ego (and maybe my aching body, too).
I'll admit--I'm pretty self-centered at times. But at the same time, I'm self-conscious. I'm an attention whore. Like Chris Rock said, "Women need food, water, and compliments...and an occasional pair of shoes." Well, I need food, water, and compliments too.
That body massage thing was an addition I just came up with. It's one of my life goals to date a masseuse.
3. Attractive enought that I think I don't deserve her (This is not necessarily a high standard).
I find the majority of girls pretty. And like I said, I'm self-conscious. I think I look good myself, but I think other people find me not-so-good-looking. I tend to be picky with celebrities. I don't know what it is, but I think if someone's going to be showered with praise for her looks, she should be flawless, and I don't see it with a lot of celebrities.
But find me a girl next door and I'm a happy man.
4. Can hold her own in an argument (The good kind, not the shouting kind).
Anyone who's ever spent 30 minutes hanging out with me knows how much I love a good (hell, even a bad) argument. My friend DJ and I once argued for roughly an hour about whether the stress in "Green Day" goes on "Green" or "Day." My father and I once argued for 15 minutes about whose fault it was that he locked the doors before I got out of the car, forcing me to unlock the door twice before exiting.
A lot of times my arguments with my friends end in an anti-climactic, half-hearted "Okay Kevin, you're right," just to get me to shut up. I understand, my argumentative nature is often viewed as obnoxious and rude, but I swear I don't mean it to be. I just like a good debate.
If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with a woman, she's gotta keep me guessing.
5. Can cook.
"I like to eat. Is that such a crime?" --Dewey Finn, School of Rock
6. Cleans up my messes for me.
I'm a messy guy. I don't know if I'll ever be the organized type, but I highly doubt it. It's not in my genes. I need someone to pick up after me, because I am a child.
7. Pushes me to do better.
This is sorta related to the previous one. I'm not organized, and I lack the ability to motivate myself to do most things. But if I have a motivator behind me, making me do something I need to do (by any means necessary), I'm a freaking stud.
8. Makes me laugh.
It's not very hard to do, because I laugh at almost everything. But some people just don't mesh with my sense of humor. I'd say 90% of people can make me laugh, but with that other 10%, it's bad. Laughing is one of my favorite things to do, so while not hard to do, it's still very important. It's kinda like showering everyday.
9. Responsible enough for the both of us.
I have self-control issues, as is obvious by my physical appearance as well as my spending habits.
10. Likes to make fun of people who take themselves too seriously.
I'm generally apathetic in most aspects of life. That's why I like to make fun of people who are dedicated to stuff I find frivolous. I live my life by making cracks at these people--sometimes in my head, sometimes to my friends. If there's someone to be made fun of, I'm making fun of them. It's always nice to have a partner in crime, though.
So there's my Ten. Like I said, it's fairly unlikely that I'm going to find someone that fits all 10 of them, but here's hoping. If I do find my "perfect ten," if you will, it's likely I'd be head over heels.
Obviously there are bonuses that didn't fit into this ten, like some amendments to the attractiveness factor, or the ability to be the next Joni Mitchell or something, but putting those in there would be just plain unfair.
I don't know how to finish this blog, so I'm going to throw in some romantic song lyrics.
Are you gonna take me home tonight
Ah down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls
You make the rockin' world go round
Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!
Sometime earlier this year, Weezer.com underwent a large overhaul, thus completely changing the format of the message boards along with the rest of the site. Most of the ATNW regulars didn't like it, and migrated to an alternate message board at Weezernation.com. Besides that board, some people I'd grown familiar with joined another alternate board that was more personal and with much less traffic. So now I post on the new boards at Weezernation.com as well as the other board, which is called FBIHOP (you'll never guess what it stands for; it's an inside joke).
The boards are sort of like a weird mix between a blog, a chat room, and a debate club. There are boardies from a number of different countries--mostly American, but there a good amount of Canadian, Mexican, European, South American, and Australian boardies as well. Due to the personal nature of some of the topics, people get to know each other. Sometimes they even meet up. On rare occasions boardies have even become romantic interests. It's like an online subculture. Almost all the regulars are known by real names rather than online aliases.
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that often times I find some of the things I write on the boards are interesting enough to be brought over to this blog. I haven't done it yet, but I've thought of it a lot. Most times I'll end up making a topic about it rather than writing about it here, since on the boards I'm more likely to get more feedback in a timely manner. There's also a lot less pressure because I'm very unlikely to ever run into the people I'm talking to. I don't have to worry about offending anyone or being rejected or any of that personal crap. It's somewhat liberating.
This time, I decided I'd bring over something I posted on the message boards. There was a topic about the ten things you look for in a romantic interest. The reason I brought this over is that I came up with ten really good things in a short period of time, and I figured it's good food for thought for my readers (if I actually have any--I honestly have no idea if anyone at all reads this thing).
So here are the official ten most valued qualities (in no particular order) I have in a member of the opposite sex, with added commentary for each one:
First of all, I wouldn't call these "requirements" per se. I tend to be a realist when it comes to dating, so I find that there's a low likelihood that I'll find a woman that loves me and still holds all these qualities.
1. Almost as smart/as smart/smarter than me.
There may be nothing more attractive than a pretty girl who knows her shit. Some people are intimidated by brains--I might be too, but in a good way. It presents a challenge, a challenge I'd accept with open arms.
2. Massages my ego (and maybe my aching body, too).
I'll admit--I'm pretty self-centered at times. But at the same time, I'm self-conscious. I'm an attention whore. Like Chris Rock said, "Women need food, water, and compliments...and an occasional pair of shoes." Well, I need food, water, and compliments too.
That body massage thing was an addition I just came up with. It's one of my life goals to date a masseuse.
3. Attractive enought that I think I don't deserve her (This is not necessarily a high standard).
I find the majority of girls pretty. And like I said, I'm self-conscious. I think I look good myself, but I think other people find me not-so-good-looking. I tend to be picky with celebrities. I don't know what it is, but I think if someone's going to be showered with praise for her looks, she should be flawless, and I don't see it with a lot of celebrities.
But find me a girl next door and I'm a happy man.
4. Can hold her own in an argument (The good kind, not the shouting kind).
Anyone who's ever spent 30 minutes hanging out with me knows how much I love a good (hell, even a bad) argument. My friend DJ and I once argued for roughly an hour about whether the stress in "Green Day" goes on "Green" or "Day." My father and I once argued for 15 minutes about whose fault it was that he locked the doors before I got out of the car, forcing me to unlock the door twice before exiting.
A lot of times my arguments with my friends end in an anti-climactic, half-hearted "Okay Kevin, you're right," just to get me to shut up. I understand, my argumentative nature is often viewed as obnoxious and rude, but I swear I don't mean it to be. I just like a good debate.
If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with a woman, she's gotta keep me guessing.
5. Can cook.
"I like to eat. Is that such a crime?" --Dewey Finn, School of Rock
6. Cleans up my messes for me.
I'm a messy guy. I don't know if I'll ever be the organized type, but I highly doubt it. It's not in my genes. I need someone to pick up after me, because I am a child.
7. Pushes me to do better.
This is sorta related to the previous one. I'm not organized, and I lack the ability to motivate myself to do most things. But if I have a motivator behind me, making me do something I need to do (by any means necessary), I'm a freaking stud.
8. Makes me laugh.
It's not very hard to do, because I laugh at almost everything. But some people just don't mesh with my sense of humor. I'd say 90% of people can make me laugh, but with that other 10%, it's bad. Laughing is one of my favorite things to do, so while not hard to do, it's still very important. It's kinda like showering everyday.
9. Responsible enough for the both of us.
I have self-control issues, as is obvious by my physical appearance as well as my spending habits.
10. Likes to make fun of people who take themselves too seriously.
I'm generally apathetic in most aspects of life. That's why I like to make fun of people who are dedicated to stuff I find frivolous. I live my life by making cracks at these people--sometimes in my head, sometimes to my friends. If there's someone to be made fun of, I'm making fun of them. It's always nice to have a partner in crime, though.
So there's my Ten. Like I said, it's fairly unlikely that I'm going to find someone that fits all 10 of them, but here's hoping. If I do find my "perfect ten," if you will, it's likely I'd be head over heels.
Obviously there are bonuses that didn't fit into this ten, like some amendments to the attractiveness factor, or the ability to be the next Joni Mitchell or something, but putting those in there would be just plain unfair.
I don't know how to finish this blog, so I'm going to throw in some romantic song lyrics.
Are you gonna take me home tonight
Ah down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls
You make the rockin' world go round
Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!
posted by Kevin A. Doran at 7:46 PM
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