Best of 2005, Part II

Continued...

I'd originally intended to make these entries closer together, but then finals week came around and well...there simply wasn't time. But as long as they're done by the end of the month (which I can't promise), my goal will have been achieved.

So, onto the next category:

Best Food/Beverage:
[Note: For this category, I'm throwing out the part about having first experienced the item in 2005. These are the standout foods of 2005. I would never ever ever turn these down if the opportunity arose.]

Honorable Mention: Pizza
Without pizza, I'd be half the man I am today.

(pause for laughter)

But seriously folks...pizza rules. Especially Hawaiian pizza. I'm usually not one to mix sweet elements with salty elements, but when Don Ho and Queen Liliuokalani came up with the idea of combining pineapple and ham, well, they were making magic. Magic my taste buds can't ignore.

Second Runner-Up: Starbucks Coffee
The last time I was at a Starbucks, it was with my dad. When I ordered a vanilla mocha, he said it was a "chick drink." Fuck you, Dad. It's good.

Caffiene has taken its place alongside food, water, and shelter in my life.

First Runner-Up: Jack and Coke
When we had that ill-fated party at my house around Halloween, I was very angry to walk into my kitchen to find empty bottles of Captain Morgan's, Smirnoff, and Jose Cuervo. I was more angry to find a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's.

However, I carried Jack around for the rest of the night. In the immortal words of Mandy Moore, "[Jack and Cokes are] like sugar to my heart."

And the Kaddy goes to: The Blue Ribbon Special at the Tom Jones Diner
Okay, this is really more than one food--but that's what makes it so "special." Two pancakes, two eggs, two pieces of bacon, two pieces of sausage, two slices of toast, choice of juice, and coffee--for $2.79.

It's like hitting the lottery every time you eat it. Jake and I went to TJ's at least twice this summer and each got the Blue Ribbon. I literally pumped my fist when we got the check, both times. It's exciting. And the food is not bad at all.

Word to the wise: don't get your eggs scrambled. Well, you can, but you're only getting one egg. Trust me on this. And a side of hash with cheese is a popular request as well.

I don't watch a lot of TV, but I'll try and do a category for my favorite TV Shows of 2005.

Honorable Mention: Survivor
I hate the reality TV genre. Hate hate hate it. But Mark Burnett is a genius. He pulled me in with The Apprentice even though Donald Trump is the biggest jackass on earth. He does it every season with Survivor. It's unpredictable and riveting TV. It's as close to reality as reality TV gets. And the unintentional comedy of Jeff Probst carrying the final vote onto a helicopter that lands in NYC (or in this season's case, Hollywood) months later to reveal the Survivor winner on live TV is just off the charts.

Second Runner-Up: Family Guy
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love this show. I used to be so bad with it that I'd laugh to myself about 15 times a day because something reminded me of a Family Guy scene. I could quote it at the drop of a hat.

Unfortunately, the belly laugh quotient of the show went down from once every five minutes to once every fifteen in the show's triumphant return to network TV. Hopefully it gets better, but I don't really see it happening. It jumped the shark when it got cancelled.

First Runner-Up: The Daily Show
Jon Stewart is the funniest political satirist in America. Stephen Colbert, who now has his own hilariously titled The Colbert Report (both t's are silent), is brilliant at playing the hard-hitting yet clueless reporter. He is a worthy replacement for Steve Carell.

Since Colbert left, you'd think the show would let down. No way. Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, and Samantha Bee are all just as hilarious. Combined with Stewart's interviews, The Daily Show is the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be when it comes to fake news.

And the Kaddy for Best TV Show of 2005 goes to: The Office
Okay, I'll admit it. I've never seen the British version. But it doesn't really matter, because even the U.S. version is comedy gold. Steve Carell is equally believable and ridiculous as the clueless boss. The rest of the characters have that great ensemble cast chemistry (or in some cases, lack thereof) that is a must for every great sitcom.

Two more categories to go, and they're both music-related! I'm so excited!

The penultimate category is for Best Album of 2005. Again, it doesn't have to be a 2005 release; I just have to have first experienced it in 2005. I'm going to keep it to one album per artist.

Honorable Mention: Armed Forces by Elvis Costello and the Attractions
Elvis is a spectacular lyricist and vocalist. And "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding?" flat out rocks.

Second Runner-Up: Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes
I'm probably a little biased here, but being as objective as I can be, Jack White branches out a lot on this album. It's not mind-blowing stuff, but it's fun as hell. I already talked about "The Denial Twist" in Part I, and "Take, Take, Take" is a great story.

First Runner-Up: The Gay Parade by Of Montreal
The Sgt. Pepper's of Indie Pop. It's a beautiful album, with a ton of great stories on it. From run-ins with your favorite boxer to fables of invisible trees, it's like reading a children's storybook--except with melodies catchier than AIDS.

And, the Kaddy for Best Album of 2005 goes to: Set Yourself on Fire by Stars
Listen to this album now. Listen. This album, more than any other album I've ever heard, embodies the word beautiful. It's perfect. The lyrics are perfect, the vocals are incredible, and the music is never boring. Just when you think the album is all orchestration and bells and whistles, there's a ripping guitar solo. It's emotional, but not sappy. It's witty, but not pretentious. It's gorgeous.

Onto the grand finale...The Best Artist of 2005, which amounts to Best New Artist. I think at this point it's obvious that Stars is going to win, so I'm just going to list the other nominees:

Second Runner-Up: Spoon
First Runner-Up: Of Montreal
Winner: Stars

That's my Best of 2005 Awards ceremony. I hope you enjoyed it. I might have another regular entry before I get to the memories section of the Best of 2005, since that's going to take a while to compile. Until next time.