The Outtakes: Part One
It came to my attention while typing up my review of Friday night's Godsmack concert at the Bryce Jordan Center that I have a shitload of read-worthy notes that will never see the pages of the Daily Collegian. So I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about some of the stuff I wanted to put into my articles that got cut.
[Disclaimer: This post is highly self-obsessed, as I generally thought that some of this stuff was downright hilarious but just too inappropriate/not relevant enough to fit into an article. I hope you enjoy my wit as much as I do.]
From the Toby Keith concert:
Joe Nichols, one of Keith's openers, had the fattest drummer I've ever seen. I've seen fat bass players on a number of occasions, which makes sense, since the bass is a fairly inactive instrument. At least on guitar, you're moving your arm to strum. On a bass, you essentially use only your wrists and fingers to play. But drums? Come on. Drums are a full-body exercise. Both legs, both arms, and if you're adventurous, maybe your head. There's no excuse for this guy to be so fat. But you know what? It makes sense considering how fucking repetitive and simplistic these drum beats are.
Nichols got his biggest cheers when he played covers. I can't blame the mostly middle-aged audience for enjoying the more recognizable songs, but I can throw down a few bucks at any bar in town to hear a cover band.
There was more energy in the pre-recorded video introduction/hyper-extended Ford F-150 commercial than in the opening numbers. The main hook from "Stays in Mexico" comes straight from a Las Vegas tourism commercial. He uses some stage tricks, but they serve merely as momentary bursts of excitement between bland, hookless mid-tempo cliches.
There's no continuity to the set. He switches from a more rocking, risque song to "A Little Too Late," a low-key ballad, without allowing the audience to get on the same page. It ruins any chance of maintaining momentum. Right after, he goes to a party song, "Get Drunk and Be Somebody." I'm all for mixing it up, but you have to do it with grace. Keith's got no grasp on how to transition from his campy rock numbers to the heartfelt, honest ones. You wouldn't follow up "I Will Always Love You" with "Closer" by NIN, so why would you put "A Little Too Late" and "Get Drunk and Be Somebody" back to back?
"Talk About Me"--laughable attempt at rapping, though just a half hour ago he was mocking hip-hop culture in his intro vid.
Two songs in a row, he resorts to a post-song sing-a-long, since apparently he doesn't know how to finish a song.
The biggest burst of energy came when Keith's mic malfunctioned and the crowd broke into an impromptu "We Are" chant followed by the man deferring to his Easy Money band, who can actually rock a sweet brass section when called upon. Unfortunately, the brass section was fairly neglected in favor of more generic setups.
The momentum was short-lived, though, as this was Keith's opportunity to plug his box office bomb, Broken Bridges, even going so far as to show a trailer for the film. It also served as an opportunity for Lindsey Haun to show off her pipes, which, while it seemed forced, was one of the highlights of the show.
Guitar solo--disconnected guitar wankery. More cliche with "Who's Your Daddy?"
Ode to Willie Nelson--"I'll never smoke weed with Willie again" seemed to split the crowd. The willing cheered, the uneasy sat. I guess getting drunk and getting in bar fights and having promiscuous sex with anonymous women is cool, but weed? No way, man. That's crossing the line.
"Shoulda Been a Cowboy" got them back into it. But do any of these people realize cowboys barely exist anymore? You don't hear any rock songs like "Shoulda been a gangster," or salsa songs called "Debo ser un conquistador." Well, maybe you do, but they're just as stupid.
Finally got his act together, over an hour into the set. He's lucky noboby blinked, they'd have missed the dozen entertaining minutes of the show.
"American Soldier" claims he's not doing it for the money or glory, compars himself to a soldier, and yet he stands in front of a gas-guzzling Ford truck. He touchingly brought up a few men in uniforms. Then flashes a flag up on screen, has a short National Anthem, and finishes off his jingoistic ejaculation playing "The Angry American" on an acoustic guitar with with a flag pattern on it. It excited the crowd, who paid 50 bucks for this embarrassingly over the top crap.
More to come...
[Disclaimer: This post is highly self-obsessed, as I generally thought that some of this stuff was downright hilarious but just too inappropriate/not relevant enough to fit into an article. I hope you enjoy my wit as much as I do.]
From the Toby Keith concert:
Joe Nichols, one of Keith's openers, had the fattest drummer I've ever seen. I've seen fat bass players on a number of occasions, which makes sense, since the bass is a fairly inactive instrument. At least on guitar, you're moving your arm to strum. On a bass, you essentially use only your wrists and fingers to play. But drums? Come on. Drums are a full-body exercise. Both legs, both arms, and if you're adventurous, maybe your head. There's no excuse for this guy to be so fat. But you know what? It makes sense considering how fucking repetitive and simplistic these drum beats are.
Nichols got his biggest cheers when he played covers. I can't blame the mostly middle-aged audience for enjoying the more recognizable songs, but I can throw down a few bucks at any bar in town to hear a cover band.
There was more energy in the pre-recorded video introduction/hyper-extended Ford F-150 commercial than in the opening numbers. The main hook from "Stays in Mexico" comes straight from a Las Vegas tourism commercial. He uses some stage tricks, but they serve merely as momentary bursts of excitement between bland, hookless mid-tempo cliches.
There's no continuity to the set. He switches from a more rocking, risque song to "A Little Too Late," a low-key ballad, without allowing the audience to get on the same page. It ruins any chance of maintaining momentum. Right after, he goes to a party song, "Get Drunk and Be Somebody." I'm all for mixing it up, but you have to do it with grace. Keith's got no grasp on how to transition from his campy rock numbers to the heartfelt, honest ones. You wouldn't follow up "I Will Always Love You" with "Closer" by NIN, so why would you put "A Little Too Late" and "Get Drunk and Be Somebody" back to back?
"Talk About Me"--laughable attempt at rapping, though just a half hour ago he was mocking hip-hop culture in his intro vid.
Two songs in a row, he resorts to a post-song sing-a-long, since apparently he doesn't know how to finish a song.
The biggest burst of energy came when Keith's mic malfunctioned and the crowd broke into an impromptu "We Are" chant followed by the man deferring to his Easy Money band, who can actually rock a sweet brass section when called upon. Unfortunately, the brass section was fairly neglected in favor of more generic setups.
The momentum was short-lived, though, as this was Keith's opportunity to plug his box office bomb, Broken Bridges, even going so far as to show a trailer for the film. It also served as an opportunity for Lindsey Haun to show off her pipes, which, while it seemed forced, was one of the highlights of the show.
Guitar solo--disconnected guitar wankery. More cliche with "Who's Your Daddy?"
Ode to Willie Nelson--"I'll never smoke weed with Willie again" seemed to split the crowd. The willing cheered, the uneasy sat. I guess getting drunk and getting in bar fights and having promiscuous sex with anonymous women is cool, but weed? No way, man. That's crossing the line.
"Shoulda Been a Cowboy" got them back into it. But do any of these people realize cowboys barely exist anymore? You don't hear any rock songs like "Shoulda been a gangster," or salsa songs called "Debo ser un conquistador." Well, maybe you do, but they're just as stupid.
Finally got his act together, over an hour into the set. He's lucky noboby blinked, they'd have missed the dozen entertaining minutes of the show.
"American Soldier" claims he's not doing it for the money or glory, compars himself to a soldier, and yet he stands in front of a gas-guzzling Ford truck. He touchingly brought up a few men in uniforms. Then flashes a flag up on screen, has a short National Anthem, and finishes off his jingoistic ejaculation playing "The Angry American" on an acoustic guitar with with a flag pattern on it. It excited the crowd, who paid 50 bucks for this embarrassingly over the top crap.
More to come...
posted by Kevin A. Doran at 1:13 AM
2 Comments:
I fail to see what the body shape & size of a drummer has to do with his ability to play or how it has any bearing on the performance of the artist.
I happen to LOVE Joe Nichols and enjoy his rendition of cover songs as well as his own material. You'd be hard pressed to find a cover band that can add the depth, emotion & energy to the cover songs Joe performs.
I recommend you attend another Joe Nichols concert with an open mind and focus on Joe's music and not the figures of his band members and you will see what his fans find so entertaining about Joe's performance.
....are you fucking kidding me? can you even read?
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