P-A-R-T-Why? Because I GOTTA

I don't blame myself. My parents are away. I was, without a doubt, having a party. It had been decided from the very moment I found out they were going to Ireland. That wasn't the problem.

The problem was that I let my sister invite people. I spent a lot of money to make this party happen--and the fruits of my hard work and money turned out to be seeing three empty liquor bottles in my kitchen at 8:30 PM. 8:30 PM. And this was BEFORE Daylight Savings Time ended. I felt like Ralphie's dad in A Christmas Story when he discovered that the Bumpuses' dogs had eaten his Christmas turkey.

Captain Morgan's--GONE!

Jose Cuervo--GONE!

Smirnoff Twist--GONE!

All I had left to comfort me was less than half a bottle of Jack Daniel's. Me and Jack were best friends for the next couple hours.

Another side effect of having a lot of 17-year-olds in my house was that I started drinking far too early. The keg was tapped by 8, the liquor was mostly gone, and by 8:40 my sister was smashed. I'm glad I missed out on this shit in high school.

As it turns out, it's probably a good thing that most of the people I invited didn't come. I embarrassed myself enough with the few friends of mine that came.

Maybe next time I try to have a party, I won't get overambitious and try to make it so epic. I've never been a guy who's had a ton of friends. Hopefully next time I'll remember that.

Adventures in Songwriting

I started fooling around with this program. I forget what it's called. It's a music recording program type thing. So far I have a chord progression for the verses set up, with a nice little guitar lick that I think I'm going to make the bassline. I realized today I didn't have a bassline and that would make a really good one. The chords are played on an acoustic guitar, for two reasons: a) my electric guitar has an awful tone, and b) the computer microphone works a lot better inside the acoustic than dangling in front of my crappy amp. I also have a little piano part that I'm going to throw into a later verse. It's a nice complement. It would be better if I could record the piano without it sounding like it's underwater. I like the lyrics I have so far. They could be better, but they have some nice clever rhymes in them. I tried working out a chorus in music class today, but I got a line from "American Idiot" stuck in my head and my concentration was broken. I also forgot the original last line of the verse I wrote, so I made up a new one that I like. Once I listen to the original version again, I'll decide which I like better/recycle one of them for another verse if it works.

I've written tons and tons of lyrics in the past couple months. Some I really like a lot. But this whole music/recording thing is a pain the freaking ass. The lyrics come almost naturally to me, but the music end is a lot harder. I keep thinking, "How do these musicians do it?" But I guess when writing/recording/playing music is your only job, it might be easier to find the time to come up with stuff. I do recognize how tough it is to consistently put out fresh music though, and this just gives me even more respect for songwriters than I already had.

I keep thinking of how McCartney and Lennon always had each other to go to for help. I'm pretty much doing this by myself, and I'm nowhere near as talented as either of those guys. Then again, they got better as they went along. Maybe if I stick with this as a serious hobby, I could make some nice demos. I already have a couple of covers under my belt since I figured out how to play real chords on the guitar instead of just power chords. I'm very self-conscious about my voice, though. The stuff that was easy to sing along to on albums is a lot harder to sing by yourself, especially while you play a fairly new (and more difficult than I'm accustomed to) instrument. If I get good enough, I might do some open mic nights at Penn State in the spring. Stay tuned.

By the way, if any of you want to help out...you know, let me know. Anyone who can play the guitar better than me (most people who own a guitar) and has songwriting chops...and a drummer would help too.

I'm not trying to get a band together, per se, but I need some help if I want to be the next Elvis Costello.

Things I Need to Get Straight

Nobody has ever chanted, "Joe must go." Anyone who thought it did so quietly for fear of the wrath of the other 100,000 people who would have disagreed.

Eagles fans booed Santa Claus over 30 years ago.

Black people do commit crimes, but not middle-class black people. White people commit just as many crimes, but not middle-class white people.

Any stupid religion out there is no more stupid than your own.

When you get sick, you feel nauseated. When you make other people sick, you feel nauseous. And yes, when you say, "I'm nauseous," you make me feel sick.

Gary Bettman is undoubtedly partially responsible for the character of Dr. Evil.

The Pixies were a great band, but they weren't that good. Led Zeppelin was a really good band, but they weren't that great.

Steroids aside, Rafael Palmeiro is a Hall of Famer.

Beck Hansen is the coolest man in America. He should be the president. I feel guilty that I don't own his independent releases.

There are plenty of things more addictive and more health-threatening than marijuana that are legal, including (but not limited to): Coca-Cola, video games, and sex.

The "interesting second record" is often simultaneously less successful and more influential. It is the breakout debuts that earn visibility. It is the interesting second records that earn immortality.

Get Up Stand Up

I'm a middle-class white kid with a decent-paying part-time job and an enrollment at a satellite campus for one of the top 50 universities in the country.

I'd like to be politically active, but I feel everything I might do is hypocritical. Tutor kids in bad neighborhoods, then let them go home to abusive or neglectful homes while I relax in my nice single house. Make a meal for homeless people, then leave them behind to miss their next handful of meals while I eat plenty (and I mean plenty). Work for AIDS awareness, but forget about all the other life-threatening diseases out there. I just can't do right.

I have my daily routine, where the biggest injustice I face is possibly earning less than I should for a tough job, or taking a class that's way too hard for a Gen Ed. But there are other people out there who don't even have jobs as good as mine, or don't even have the benefit of a good education. I can complain about the price of gas or the small inconvenience of too much traffic, when most people in the world don't even drive a car.

I feel bad when I listen to Bob Marley's "Get Up Stand Up," because hell yeah, I want to stand up for my rights. But what right do I have to stand up when most people can't get off the ground?

I hate putting things in perspective. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to become a Republican.

Dealing with Loss

I shaved on Friday.

I'd decided my "crustache," as my friend Josh called it, was getting a little out of hand for my taste. I almost did a very temporary Hitler 'stache as a joke, but reconsidered because my Jewish friends Jon and Dan were in the room. So I took it off. Then I thought my beard looked out of place, so I shaved that.

Then I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, "Oh my god, what have I done?" For the rest of the night I was agonizing over the imbalance of head hair and facial hair that I had going on. I also didn't bring my hat with me for the weekend, and therefore I had nothing to cover up my mistake. When my friends and I planned to go to a party later that night, it took me about 10 minutes to mess around with my hair, and I still left unsatisfied. I planned on getting a haircut the next day.

Saturday came and I liked my hair enough to keep it the way it is. And today I noticed my stubble is already coming in, so it won't be long until I'm experimenting with a new style for my facial hair. All is well.